Everyone experiences moments of intense conflict, like arguments with a partner or difficult times with a colleague. It often feels like your body takes over, leading to actions you might regret. You might wonder how to handle these situations better.
In these moments, thinking your way through it doesn’t usually help. Erica Schwartzberg, a therapist from Downtown Somatic Therapy, explains that during a heated argument, your logical brain is not fully active. That’s why simply calming down isn’t effective. It’s important to calm your body first, so you can return to a more logical state and communicate better.
When emotions are high, adjusting expectations is key. Toni Teixeira from Strong at the Core Counseling notes that calming down quickly is difficult. The goal should be to think more clearly, enabling better decisions.
Simple actions during a fight can help. Teixeria suggests small movements to change your body’s response to stress. This creates a gap between what triggers you and how you respond, allowing more thoughtful reactions.
Physical techniques can help shift your mindset. For example, stepping back or making your lips flutter can signal safety to your body. Shaking or deep sighing can reset your stress levels. These actions show your body it doesn’t need to stay in ‘fight’ mode.
Looking around the room can also remind you that you’re safe, helping calm your nervous system.
